People, we both like and love, inhabit every corner of our lives. Like you, I know people, I feel a broad array of affections toward. Some stir up a fondness, a desire to be around, but not close to. We congregate in coffeeshops, buses, synagogues, stores, restaurants, mosques, offices, churches, wherever. A sense of pleasure, usually, accompanies those times. Conflicts, of course, tag along but typically don’t bother us.
Unconscious energy is poured into keeping these people close, without taking much of a conscious risk. We pour a good share of energy into keeping most of ourselves out of sight All of us are bent on keeping a host of strengths and weaknesses out of sight. None of us wants to share in this menagerie of things which naturally flow out of us. Relationships require that we keep an array of positive and negative parts of ourselves out of sight. In most cases, I don’t share much of what I read with people. So few want to talk about my adoring the works of Merleau-Ponty, Levinas and Nellas. Trust me, you don’t. So, what about those things you know, enjoy or just work at which doesn’t belong in any of those conversations?
Likewise, we have assortments of events, thoughts, feelings not belonging in these conversations. It doesn’t take being jailed to encourage our evading anyone in the group catching sight of those things. It’s more like not wanting people to know about a fetish, which if surfaced probably would only be giggled at, toasted or worst seeing an eye rolled. Nonetheless, we keep such things hidden. Of course, all of us have other parts of our lives, we really don’t want anyone even catching a hint of. Yet, not a one of us is able to keep things out of sight, it takes cooperation.