Oh, I love this one. You know, I still have my fancy slide-rule in the leather case to hang from my belt! Perhaps I should try the same thing to see what happens.

Dover Beach

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has

 been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.’Al-Gebra is a problem for us,’ the Attorney General said. ‘They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like X and Y and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.’

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3…

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